Dissecting Psalm 139

Psalm 139 came to my attention, again, in this past Sunday's sermon on End Times. On Sunday, I knew I wanted to look back in my journals, blog, and calendar because the whole chapter has meant so much to me (but I really didn't know when I'd have time). Why I chose today to look at only makes me smile, now that I have taken the time to investigate it. Isn't time with God always like that? Always makes you smile after you've taken the time to spend with Him.

Chronology:

On the below dates, I somehow blogged or noted in my calendar the below events. Some of the below I understand now, but some may be revealed in the future (which is marked by the (?)). But regardless, it amazes me how keenly aware He is of every detail in my life (which is definitely one of the points in Psalm 139).

• June 8, 2008 - HFBC, "God Provides" sermon - Psalm 139:23-24
• June 9, 2008 - found Angels' website, "B: Leading Ladies... B is for beauty", Psalm 139:13-18 (really when it occured to me that Psalm 139 was becoming a theme)
• July 30, 2008 - blogged after being convicted of pride and arrogancy - Psalm 139:23-24
• August 29, 2008 - "test" was one of the words I received - Psalm 139:23
• Feb 17-18, 2009 - blogged the entire chapter after I did the Missions Committee devotional on "the only way it comes is through Jesus Christ"; and very keen on the word "inheritance" (?)
• June 7, 2009 - HFBC, "End Times" sermon - Psalm 139:7-10
• June 8, 2009 - looked back to see, and unknown to me at the time, that it was one year - to the date - that I was first given the idea of Psalm 139!

Viewpoint:

I'm going to attempt to share what the different sections mean to me. But that's like a blind man trying to describe a rainbow. Just too beautiful for explanation; it has to be experienced. I invite you to do the same.

verses 1-6:
seem to focus on who God is - His character. Most of the sentences being with "You". I have been learning a lot in the past year or so about His never-failing character. In fact, I have a whole page in my journal which is devoted to one-word descriptions of our Lord: Faithful. True. Lover. Healer. Judge. Protector. King. Friend. Beginning. End. Provider. Creator. Patient. Powerful. Real. Persistent. Forgiver. Promise. Precious. Majesty. Authority. Sufficient. Complete. Self-existent. Banner. Secure. Beautiful. Comforter. Love. Grace. Mercy.

you get the idea. He's BIG! David got it also. And I think that's always a good place to begin... looking at just how big our God really is. It definitely puts things in proper perspective.

verses 7-12:
describe God and His ability to be in all places at all times. The God who created time is not bound by it. That's why He is forever the same, never changing. And it can be intimidating and reassuring all at the same time. There is no where I can that He is not there. David says, "If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me', even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." I think He truly understood that God was always there.

(Now what's really funny is that I have itunes playing in the background and what came on "coincidentally" while I was writing this section was "Always on My Mind" - Willie Nelson's version. I had to bust out laughing. God's timing is so amazing. We just need eyes that see.)

I remember Rich Mullins sharing about one time when he was in a bit of a rebellion that he asked God to "blink... for a really long time". I can identify with that. There have been times (more times than I'd like to admit) that I've wanted God to just blink. But He cannot and does not... because He has chosen to not. Now that's love of the covenental kind.

verses 13-18:
tell of God's power - and to create beauty! US!!!! Yes, you and me. David was speaking very personally here... and praising God for creating Him just the way He was. What I also love about this section of passage is that David says, "Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." It reinforces the whole idea to me that God has been at "rest" since creation, end of day 6. Everything was created, including time. But He created time and we live in it and must wait as things unfold. Things already created, just waiting to happen. This, again, reinforces to me the idea of trust, rest, wait.

verses 19-24:
David focuses inwardly to conclude this chapter. But this is how it started off with me: examining myself - via the Holy Spirit's prompting.

I think it very telling that David starts off this section with hatred - for those who hate God. But then the last two verses, to me, describe a man who realizes His hate and asks God to search him to see if there is any offensive way in him and lead him in the way everlasting. What this says to me is that I think he may have "gone off" on others, maybe being a big judgmental, and when he realized his judgmental spirit, he caught it and humbled himself. Man, how many times has pride, judgment, and arrogancy clouded my eyes?

(Another song "coincidence" - would you believe Chris Tomlin's "My Chains are Gone - Amazing Grace" just came on?!? Don't you think David must have been overwhelmed with God's grace as he wrote those last two verses?)

The last 6 words are the most grace and mercy filled: "Lead me in the way everlasting". I mean how could we even entertain the idea of a perfect and Holy God being anywhere near us, save grace and mercy? Thank you, Lord, for Your perfect grace and mercy.

Enjoy who you are and who God has made you to be. There is no one else like you. He only makes originals. And as Psalm 139 confirms, God is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. But God gave us the ability to choose. As Andrew Murray points out, as believers, we will do one of two things - either deny self or deny Jesus.

What do you choose today?

All for now,
Lisa

Puncturing Illusions

I actually thought of this blog title way back on 30 April, 2009. Although I don't remember much of what I wanted to blog about then, I have a full idea of what I want to write now.

I think I absorb the most by looking reflectively at things; after they happen. I know I write a lot here about my reflections since last May - which was such a watershed for me. And not to stop there, many a significant event has happened since then, only for me to recognize and acknowledge God's unrelenting work in me.

I looked online for "reflective learning". I was suprised at how many results came up (1,200,000)! The 4th result listed had some interesting information:

Reflection can help you to:

• better understand your strengths and weaknesses
• identify and question your underlying values and beliefs
• acknowledge and challenge possible assumptions on which you base your ideas, feelings and actions
• recognize areas of potential bias or discrimination
• acknowledge your fears, and
• identify possible inadequacies or areas for improvement.

Reflection can lead to greater self-awareness, which in turn is a first step to positive change – it is a necessary stage in identifying areas for improvement and growth in both personal and professional contexts. Taking time to reflect can help you identify approaches that have worked well, and in that way reinforce good practice.

I don't want to turn this into a self-awareness exercise because I this it is more about the Holy Spirit's work in me. Yet, truly, all this has really been puncturing illusions that I had been living with for years. Illusions of who God truly is; who I am (faults, habit, blind spots, and chains and all); who He has created me to be, His design for love and marriage; and most importantly the power of transformation. Praise Him!

I've learned a lot, despite my kicking and screaming - for the crucible that I have been in, for growth that sometimes hurts; for truth that can sometimes be painful and for the protracted trust, rest, and wait that He calls me to... all of which I have, at times, demanded that He relent. Ye loves me too much to give into my demands; especially desires that turn into demands which turn into felt needs.

The most of what I have learned: All of Him is more than enough for all of me. I'm trusting Him for the rest and wait.

All for now,
Lisa

May Seems to Be the Month of "Trust" for Me

I received yet another wonderful article in my inbox from Hudson Russell Davis. He's the Crosswalk author that has written so many wonderful articles about the art of being single... especially when one's singleness is protracted years beyond what one would have expected.

Ever read an article and notice yourself nodding in agreement almost all the way through it? Well, I have before and did it again when I read his latest article. I find myself nodding in agreement through most of Davis' articles. He writes truth, without blushing. I appreciate that.

What I noticed as I was reading his latest article was it reiterated so many of the themes that God has been showing me for some time now. I looked back and May tended to be the month that it hit:

May 2006 --> A Season to Simply Trust
May 2008 --> Surrendering: Letting Go But Not Giving Up
May 2009 --> I Believe Him; I Trust Him

Not sure what else to say, other than thank you Lord!

All for now,
Lisa

I Believe Him; I Trust Him

I just read this song on another blog... had yet to hear it. Really powerful!

Let me just say this.... I believe Him now. There is no evidence to prove one way or another, yet I believe Him. And I trust Him too. His words are true, and all His promises are sure.

Believe Me Now
by Steven Curtis Chapman

I watch you looking out across the raging water
So sure your only hope lies on the other side
You hear the enemy that's closing in around you
And I know that you don't have the strength to fight
But do you have the faith to stand and...

Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you and I am for you
So believe Me now
Believe Me now

I am the One who waved my hand and split the ocean
I am the One who spoke the words and raised the dead
And I've loved you long before I set the world in motion
I know all the fears you're feeling now
But do you remember who I am?
Do you..

Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you
And I am for you
So believe Me now
Believe it's true
I never have, I never will abandon you
And the God that I have always been
I will forever be
So believe Me now

I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure
My words are true, and all My promises are sure
So believe Me now
Oh, believe Me now

All for now,
Lisa

Thoughts from 10 Dirty Fingernails

Though my backyard is relatively small, the greenery can get out of hand very easily, especially if you're not looking! :-)

This past weekend I decided to forage my way into the very back of the yard to trim up some vines and branches that had gotten WAY overgrown. This was an attempt to make a pathway to a neighbor's tree that has grown branches into my backyard - and even encroaching on the 85 year old crepe myrtles. I eventually need to tackle those encroaching branches, but first things first!

Saturday was a hot and humid morning, but I was enjoying getting my fingers dirty. There’s nothing like spending a little time digging into God’s green earth that puts everything into just the right perspective. I thought about turning on some tunes, but the silence, broken only by a bird singing, was nice.

At first, I didn’t think the vines were that overgrown. Although it had been at least two years since I last trimmed them. Well, as I started tackling the vines, I realized they had grown over the fence and down the fence line! Wow – and the vines were as thick as a rope!
It’s those kinds of moments that give me such a unique spiritual perspective. I thought about how Jesus says...

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
John 15:5-8

...because earlier last week I had started removing some vines. And just a few days later, the vines and branches where I chopped a path were already brown and withered. It really brought home the point that branches that are thrown away wither and are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. They don’t last.

Then I started thinking about vines that just grow, without direction. They may grow, but they won’t bear fruit. It made me mindful of the verses earlier in the chapter:

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
John 15:1-4

Lord, thank you for being the gardener. And for pruning me so I may bear Your fruit. Fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

And thank you, Lord, for even using a hot humid day in my backyard to teach me something about You.

I love you Lord.

All for now,
Lisa

Ever Have a Song Roll Around in Your Head For Days?

I Will Rise
by Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[x2]

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

All for now,
Lisa

Thoughts from a Recent Camping Trip

One of my favorite things to do is to go camping, paired with doing some sort of adventure (hiking, biking, fishing, kayaking, rapelling)! I love the outdoors, the fun, the activity, and the fellowship. I guess you can call me a people person because I would have never thought of going camping alone until recently.

On my last camping outing I did just that. I ventured alone to our camping site early and stayed two days and a night alone - before the rest of the crew arrived. It was an odd site to be at a campsite alone (I think the ranger checked on me more than usual, which I thought was very sweet).

But I wasn't alone.

Yes, there were tons of animals around, which I was more accutely aware of due to it being quieter than usual around the campsite. I just know a deer visited me during the night. But I had one of the most awesome, yet unexpected, times alone with our Lord.

I wasn't nearly alone.

It was early morning of my second day. It had gotten colder during the night before and was actually really chilly in the early morning hours. I didn't have much wood to start a fire and the wood that I had didn't burn very well. But I was cold. So, I got the fire going, but had to tend to it pretty regularly or it would go out. I was trying to get the campsite up so I was doing a few things around the camp and then would go back to the fire to stoke it (and warm up). I finally sat down in a chair and took a little break to enjoy the fire.

It was then as I just stared into the beautiful flame that I had an "aha" moment. Isn't tending the fire much like my relationship with God? If I "walk away" for too long the relationship will suffer. And if I walk away I'll miss the "benefits" - the warmth, the glow, the energy. I was beginning to understand.

And there was more.

As I put a big log onto the fire, the flame almost went out. I hurried around to get some kindling wood to supplement the big log. I thought about the analogy to prayer. Big long prayers are good; short quick prayer are good - and both are needed.

Thank you. Lord, for even using a campfire to teach me something about You.

I love you Lord.

All for now,
Lisa

I See

great lyrics from a great lyricist...

When the Saints
by Sara Groves

Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
it often overwhelms me
but when I think of all who've gone before and lived the faithful life
their courage compells me
And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court
I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul
I see the young missionary and the angry spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear
I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sisters standing by the dying man's side
I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door
I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
and when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them

All for now,
Lisa

Perth, Western Australia

This is my first try at doing photomerge in Photoshop. Actually, I took these photos in October, 2008 using my trusty little point and shoot camera that I carry most places. I just did a best guess as I took a few shots of the Perth skyline and the Swan River without a tripod.

I've had the photos for a while and didn't know how to photomerge them until recently. At the time I took the shots, I had the idea of printing them and merging them manually. The more interesting thing is that I took these photos long before I bought Photoshop or the Canon 40d. I guess God knew what was coming in the future. I like that He knows those kinds of things! :-)

I've also posted the panoramic on my smugmug site. It may provide a better image quality.



All for now,
Lisa

Photojournalism

I recently watched "The Endurance", which is an amazing account of Sir Ernest Shackleton's 1914 ill-fated journey to Antarctica. It's truly a take of survival! I quote the American Museum of Natural History here:

Just one day's sail from the continent, the ship Endurance became trapped in sea ice. Frozen fast for ten months, the ship was crushed and destroyed by ice pressure, and the crew was forced to abandon ship. After camping on the ice for five months, Shackleton made two open boat journeys, one of which—a treacherous 800-mile ocean crossing to South Georgia Island—is now considered one of the greatest boat journeys in history. Trekking across the mountains of South Georgia, Shackleton reached the island's remote whaling station, organized a rescue team, and saved all of the men he had left behind.

There was an expedition photographer aboard capturing the 22 month journey. Frank Hurley was called a "warrior with his camera". His photographs are truly amazing. You can see more about him and the story of the Endurance here: http://www.kodak.com/US/en/corp/features/endurance/

I am intrigued by photojournalism... truly trying to capture a story with photos. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. But how do you get across more than words? How do you capture the experience?

Who else is known for their photo journalism? Anyone have any recommendations?

All for now,
Lisa

Thoughts from 75 miles on my bike

All went VERY well yesterday as day 2 of the MS150 ride went on as planned. Many kudos to the MS150 organization as they did a wonderful job preparing changes (at very late notice) for yesterday. If you didn't know the rain had come on Saturday and cancelled all of that day (and evening) you would not have known it. I know they worked VERY hard and it went off (as far as I'm concerned) without a hitch. And the traffic getting to La Grange was not nearly as difficult (or stressful) and I thought it would have been.

As you may know, on the second day of the ride, there are usually two routes you can take - one is the "challenge" route (which goes through the park and consists of some pretty tough hills). The second route is called the "lunch express" route - which basically takes HWY 71 into Bastrop. I've done the park a few times before, and having re-injured a bad knee this past October doing the half marathon in San Antonio, I had decided a few months back that I should not do the challenge route this year. Well, let me tell you, the relentless WIND made the express route (in fact, the whole ride) a little more challenging than usual. We had a pretty stiff head wind the whole 75 miles (well, except for about 100 yards where the road winded around and we got a full tailwind!). Regardless, the trip was fun, challenging, and encouraging all at the same time. I want to leave you with three snippets of memories I have from yesterday:

1) twin tandem cyclists
I rode up behind a set of tandem cyclists. Both of them were father/daughter teams. The one on the right was a younger set; the girl was probaby 8 or 9. She was doing quite well and you could tell she was enjoying the day. On the left was an older set; the girl was 21 (she had said it at one point) and she was also enjoying herself - telling about her plans for college and afterwards. I don't think the two teams knew each other. Yet I marveled at the mirror image; it was also a bit of a time machine. I could see how the right team could be the left team in a few years. And I prayed that it would be. A family that cycles together stays together. :-)

2) hand cyclist
I have seen this guy a few times on the Chevron-sponsored training rides and saw him again yesterday. I passed him a few times on the ride yesterday so I can only assume that he either gets a sag once in a while or never stops at any of the rest stops (or lunch). This guy is amazing. It was hard enough for me to do it with two legs, I can't imagine doing it with two hands. My hat is off to him! :-)

3) wheel-chair bound dude with big grin handing out strawberries
At almost the end of the race, I came upon a tent with a few people cheering riders on. That's always encouraging. What really caught my attention was one guy who was in an electric wheelchair. Now this wasn't the kind of wheel chair that had two big wheels and two little wheels. It had four little wheels. The most interesting part of it was that he made it to where he was just up on two wheels (I suppose to make him tall enough to reach cabinets). But he was up on these two wheels cheering us on and moving the chair forward to offer riders strawberries that he had on a tray. It made me smile. I so appreciated his effort to cheer us on. His smile was so beautiful! :-)

So, there you have it: three smiles from a ton stored in my head from yesterday.

One last story, I was at a rest stop toward the end when an older gentleman (probably in his late 60's) came in and was taken to the medical tent. I had put my bike near the tent so I saw him as he came in - with some contusions on his face and pretty bad cuts on his knee. He had obviously gone down pretty hard. He had road rash around his eye, what looked like he would have a black eye, a cut on his eyebrow which would need stitches, and (when he pulled away the ice pack from his nose) looked like what would have been a broken nose. What I was surprised at was his remarkably cheerful disposition. Now that's the mark of a true cyclist!

To end this on a happier note, I was also happy that I got to catch up with a friend - who was kind enough to pick me up and take me back to Houston - but first was taken to see his Austin house renovations (and got to use a shower, praise the Lord), and got to see 200+/- beautiful acres in Paige, TX.

What's next for me? I think the MS150 waves to wine might be in the cross-hairs!http://bikecan.nationalmssociety.org/site/PageServer?pagename=BIKE_CAN_homepage

All for now,
Lisa

Messiah in the Passover

The celebration if Passover tells the story of the redemption of the Israelites - from the bitterness of slavery in Egypt to the sweet hope of teh freedom in the Promised Land. But Jesus (Yeshua) is the fulfilment of the Hebrew Scriptures. And Jesus is the sweetness of our bitter experiences. Dr. Mitch Glaser, a messianic Jew, came to my church last Thursday to give an understanding of the Passover and how we can plainly see Jesus in the Passover meal.

The "script" for the Passover meal is the Haggadah (literally, "telling"). I want to give a few points here of what I heard about the passover meal:

Purity
Always prefaced with purification. It's about removing leaven from their houses (removing sin from our hearts). It is about preparing our hearts. Usually also involved washing hands... Jesus washed the disciples feet at the last supper (which was a passover feast).

Presence of God
to start the passover meal, the woman of the house lights the lights of the festival - which represents the shinah glory - the presence of God. They thank God for entering a new season (from one passover to the next).

Passover
The seder begins. 4 cups celebrated along with a meal. Elijah's cup always poured out (waiting for Elijah to announce the coming of the Messiah). We are spared because the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.

The meal is full of interesting pointers and references to Jesus Christ. From the cup of redemption, to the lamb shank bone representing the spreading the blood on the doorposts of the Israelites, to the special three-part pouch that hold the matzah.

Other thoughts (from Dr. Mitch Glaser):
When redemption is near, even the bitterness of slavery is sweet. Stay sweet in hope because Jesus is near. Life without God is bitter. Life with God is sweet.

When we, by faith, apply the sacrifice of Jesus to the doorposts of our hearts, then the wrath of God passover over us. Hide behind the blood.

It all points to Jesus.

All for now,
Lisa

The Jeselsohn Stone: Gabriel's Revelation: God's Truth

I visited the Houston Museum of Natural science with a friend yesterday afternoon. There is a wonderful exhibit called, "The Birth of Christianity: A Jewish Story" that I had been wanting to see. And given this is Holy Week, I thought it would be a very appropriate time to see it. I was not disappointed. It was a very good show. And I'm sure it would not been as good had Kelley and I not latched on to a docent or two who added so much flavor to an already rich experience.

The exhibit explores the cultural, political, and personal environment that surrounded Israel 2000 years ago. I learned quite a bit about the Hasmoneons (Macabbees) reign. And having already been to Israel, it brought back wonderful memories of that land. The best part was the second half, with the Dead Sea scrolls of Matthew, John, Galatians (and a missing Isaiah scroll that I would have loved to have seen). And then there was the Jeselsohn stone (also known as "Gabriel's Revelation").

It is a three foot tablet with 87 lines of Hebrew text. That's not so amazing. Experts date it to decades before the birth of Jesus. That's not so amazing either. What is amazing is that the text speaks of a Messiah who will rise from the dead after three days!

I guess it brings new meaning to something being "written in stone". But I didn't need it to be written in stone to believe it either. It's written on my heart.

He is Risen indeed!

All for now,
Lisa

P.S. You can read more about the stone in the NY Times article here
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/world/middleeast/06stone.html?_r=2&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss&oref=slogin

You can see the Hebrew text here:
http://members.bib-arch.org/publication.asp?PubID=BSBA&Volume=34&Issue=1&ArticleID=16#BSBA340124

You can see the English translation here:
http://members.bib-arch.org/publication.asp?PubID=BSBA&Volume=34&Issue=1&ArticleID=16#BSBA340123

Just Keep Walking

This was one of the first songs played on Pandora this morning. I've been listening to "Third Day" radio on Pandora for the last few months, but I think this is the first time this song really sank into my heart. I thought it was worthy of sharing. It just reminds me that joy is... because... regardless.

Take It All
by Third Day

All the promises I've broken,
All the times I've let You down,
You forgot them, but still I hold on to the pain that makes me drown,
But now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away.

Take it all,
Cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have, I can't make it on my own,
Take the first, take the last,
Take the good and take the rest
Here I am, all I have,
Take it all.

And all the roads that lie before me,
All the struggles I go through,
Give me a secondary reminder that it all belongs to You,
Now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away.

Take it all,
Cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have, I can't make it on my own,
Take the first, take the last,
Take the good and take the rest
Here I am, all I have,
Take it all.

And ever since I died to myself,
You gave a better life to me,
I give You my finest moment,
I give You the last breath I breathe.

Take it all,
Cause I can't take it any longer,
All I have, I can't make it on my own,
Take the first, take the last,
Take the good and take the rest,

Take it all,
Cause I can'y take it any longer,
All I have, I can't take it on my own,
Take the first, take the last,
Take the good and take the rest,
Here I am, all I have,
Take it all.

All for now,
Lisa

Turned on the Radio at Just the Right Time

Coming back today from lunch (with an incredible friend), I turned on the radio in the Jeep at just the right time to hear the words (in bold below). Thank you, God, I needed that.

Always
by Building 429

I was standing in the pour raining
One dark November night
Fighting off the bitter cold
When she caught my eye
Her face was torn and her eyes were filled
And then to my surprise
She pulled out a photograph
And my heart just stopped inside
She said he would have been three today
I miss his smile, I miss his face
What was I supposed to say

But I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
He will be with you always

He was living in a broken world dreaming of a home
His heart was barely keeping pace
When I found him all alone
Remembering the way he felt
When his daddy said goodbye
Fighting just to keep the tears
And the anger locked inside
He's barely holding on to faith
But deliverance is on its way

'Cuz I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
He will be with you always
Friend I don't know where you are
And I don't know where you've been
Maybe you're fighting for your life
Or just about to throw the towel in
But if you're crying out for mercy
If there's no hope left at all
If you've given everything you've got
And you're still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on

Cuz I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
Always, Always
He will be with you always
He will be with you always
He will be with you

All for now,
Lisa

Now I Realize the Truth

Although this song hit me over four months ago, I heard it afresh again last night. When it came to this part of the song, I stopped what I was doing and just listened. It was these words:

Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

I just smiled and said, "Yes, Lord". While not necessarily my favorite thing to do, I realize the valleys are just as necessary as the mountains for life. Life with God. And that's really what I want.

It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees.
Psalm 119:71

All for now,
Lisa

My Ebenezer

Just as Samuel set a stone to mark the spiritual journey out of idolatry and into full commitment to God for the Israelites, God has given me the unique opportunity to mark my spiritual journey out of idolatry and into full commitment to God with letters, emails, journals, songs, writings, Bible studies, prayers, and conversations. And for some reason I've been able to capture dates - when different events have happened.

And on the occasion of the 4th anniversary of seeing those rainbows I thought I would give God the credit and the glory for not only loving me enough to want the best for me, and for weaving such a wonderful tapestry, but also for showing it to me so incredibly plainly. Ebenezer means "stone of help" and I've been putting together my Ebenezer in Microsoft Excel. How very 2009 of me, isn't it?

I've been amazed how intricately He's weaved it. I'm putting it together in a chronological fashion but am not doing it sequentially. Meaning, as events come to mind I enter them into the spreadsheet in chronological order. What I am finding out is as one event happens, practically the next day He basically comes to my rescue. I didn't realize it as it was happening and am only realizing it now.

It made me wonder about those in the great hall of faith (Hebrews 11). I guess for most of my life I had thought they were completely aware of what was happening at the time it was happening. I'm only realizing now that that's probably not the case. It was probably only in retrospect that they could realize just how much God had been right there all along, taking wonderful care of each one of them.

Thus far the Lord and helped me. I shall serve Him alone. I pray that it can be said that by faith Lisa simply was because she considered Him faithful who had made the promise.

All for now,
Lisa

Truth Without Love is Like Sodium Without Chloride: Poison, Not Salt!

While this is a direct quote from a recent article from WORLD magazine, it's been a recurring thought for a while. As a matter of fact, I wrote something about this early last month. So when I see recurring "themes" like this, it gives me cause to stop and pause to think about what the Lord is telling me.

You see, there is a battle. And at its most basic it's a battle between the natural and the supernatural. And the crazy thing about it all is that you can be naturally "right and moral" yet not be supernaturally "in truth and love". I suppose that's what I was trying to say in my earlier blog entry... you can be right yet so terribly wrong. Because truth without love is like sodium without chloride. It kills not saves.

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
Matthew 5:13-14

I have been down that road of self-effort... of self-piety. Of knowing God yet not following His lead. Of being the other prodigal. I've learned that what drives me should not just be being "right" but knowing, obeying, and walking with Him. I want to be someone who not only knows truth but also someone who wants to be a fellow laborer with Him. And that is driven by love through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

And that ministers.

All for now,
Lisa

Faith and Deficits

I thought this was good... and from the NY Times! :-)

Faith and Deficits

and would you believe this is the second time recently that George Herbert was quoted!

REDEMPTION

HAVING been tenant long to a rich Lord,
Not thriving, I resolved to be bold,
And make a suit unto him, to afford
A new small-rented lease, and cancell th’ old.

In heaven at his manour I him sought :
They told me there, that he was lately gone
About some land, which he had dearly bought
Long since on earth, to take possession.

I straight return’d, and knowing his great birth,
Sought him accordingly in great resorts ;
In cities, theatres, gardens, parks, and courts :
At length I heard a ragged noise and mirth

Of theeves and murderers : there I him espied,
Who straight, Your suit is granted, said, and died

by George Herbert

All for now,
Lisa

Ever Had An Isaac in Your Life?

Have you ever had an Isaac in your life? No, I'm not really talking about a friend named Isaac or a pet named Isaac, but something you held dear that you knew God asked you to give up!

As you know Abraham was promised and Abraham received. But what happened after Abraham received? God asked him to give Isaac up! And not just "give him up" but "offer him as a sacrifice!" Can you imagine? I truly cannot fathom it (and I don't even have kids).

I would have thought Abraham thought God was crazy! But he didn't even question him. Not once. I've read through the account multiple times and each time am convinced that Abraham completely trusted God. He had already had multiple accounts of trying to do things on his own. And each time ended up in a mess. This time it ended perfectly.

The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."
Genesis 22:15-18

You know, the first commandment explains this perfectly

You shall have no other gods before me.
Exodus 20:3

It was the spiritual surrender alone that God required. Holding on to something results in idolatry.

I have had three "Isaacs" in my life in the last 15 years. And as much as God has called me to surrender these things, I have seen God's provision in two of them (so far). Yet through it I have felt the Spirit's presence and the fruits of the spirit very evident (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) most of the time. :-)

It reminds me that it is God who calls, Jesus who saves, and the Holy Spirit who gives empowerment for Godliness.

I am trusting God. And through this spiritual surrender I have seen more clearly a God would loves me and provides for me. And I'm learning what it means to live by faith!

All in all, God is my inheritance!

All for now,
Lisa