TWO YEARS since my last blog post!

Just recently, I had reason to go online to look at my blog. I'll tell you why in a minute. But I was surprised that it had been OVER two years since my last blog post. Yet the lack of activity on my blog does not translate to a lack of activity in my life! Quite the contrary. And I think that's why I was posting the "year in the life" the last two posts. Perhaps it was to defend my lack of blog posts ;-) Yet, I think this blog post may not be so much about the past as to the future.

Another Year!

I realized today that it had been one year since I last posted a blog! My how time flies!! So, I thought I'd sit down and reflect on the past year. In keeping with past posts, I'm going to list out, by month, different events that I remember.

2011 in review:

January
Built a pump house over the well pump at the farm
Began taking New Land Owner classes from the Colorado County Ag Extension service
Hopewood Farm becomes a non-profit corporation in the state of Texas

February
Purchased a 12 foot lowboy trailer for the farm
Began taking the Urban Rancher classes from the Harris County Ag Extension service
Purchased a Colt Anniversary III 1911 pistol in celebration of 20 years employment at Chevron

March
Cleared land for the log cabin site
Site for the log cabin was staked out
Volunteered at the Texas Quest adventure race

April
Built a two bay lean-to next to shed at the farm for tractor, 4 wheeler, and side by side
Pad site was created for the log cabin

May
Traveled to Salt Lake City for business
Took first load of timber to be milled down for the log cabin
Concrete was poured for the foundation of the log cabin

June
Went to Canton to find items for the log cabin
Traveled to Midland for business

July
Satterwhite Log Homes constructed log cabin
Traveled to Salt Lake City for business
Made 2 knives
Tractor Supply opens in Columbus, TX (woohoo!!!)

August
Put up electric fence so cows could graze on property
Shingles installed on the log cabin
Plumbing/electrical rough-in at the log cabin
Hopewood Farm now has a website domain name!

September
Interior walls up, painted at the log cabin
A/C installed at the log cabin (whew!)

October
Put up deer feeders and deer cameras on property
Kitchen cabinets installed at the log cabin
Septic/propane installed at the log cabin

November
Deer hunted first day of deer season (no kill)
Moved furniture from mobile home to log cabin

December
Countertops and appliances installed at the log cabin
Had Christmas at the farm!

I look forward to what God has planned for 2012!

All for now,
Lisa

Signing Back On: Can't Stop a Good Thing!

At a friend's encouragement of my blogging, I had reason to revisit my blog a few days ago. And when I did, I re-read my 2010 wishlist - to which I had to smile at how God guided me through the year.

Now, let me reiterate that I try not to be just about doing things. But reviewing the list reminded me of how God provides. And it made me realize that my hopes shouldn't be like a Christmas list to give to a Santa-god. But more of a "is this what you would have for me?" petition to God. I'm now seeing it as a way to submit a prayerful request and to see if it aligns with God's will. Putting it up to a light, so to speak.

A friend recently posted on facebook, "when God made the world he intended on today happening. powerful to live, love and walk in that truth..." Exactly!

So I present to you 2010 in review:

January
Played in a drum circle
Learned how to play a trap set (drums)
Shot my first buck and doe!
Taught a mosaic workshop again at Laity Lodge

February
Traded in my 1996 Toyota 4Runner (with 225,000 miles) for a 2007 Toyota Tundra Pickup
Badged again with the Houston Life Stock Show and Rodeo

March
Co-led as mission trip to Costa Rica
Went turkey hunting for the first time
Went to HFBC Hunt Retreat (a long time desire)

April
Started a new position at Chevron Pipe Line Company
Created another art installation for the Church Easter exhibit

June
Met Rich Stearns (author of "Hole in the Gospel")

July
Taught a mosaic workshop again at Laity Lodge
Went to my first (and probably last) Roller Derby
Picked pears at a friend's farm

August
Purchased 21 acres near Fayetteville, TX (recreational/retirement land)
Bought the obligatory 4 wheeler and side by side for the property

October
Attended a "How to Build a Log Cabin" workshop
Bought a TRACTOR! ;-)

November
Suprised my dad by installing a 1940's Fairbury Windmill on the property

So, you can see that some things from my previous "wish" list happened, some didn't. And I'm perfectly fine with that. I embrace it, in fact.

Because what was further instilled in me during 2010, that I hope to carry with me for a long time, is that God has a plan that is perfectly suited for me. My part is to trust. But to discern the will of God takes more than a bucket list. It takes calling on the Holy Spirit for a renewed mind. I just can't do it with my simple human mind. And when I do that I need to be ready. For when I call on the Holy Spirit, He will only fill what I have emptied. Meaning, He won't fill an already filled space. If my mind is cluttered with an "I want", "I was hurt", "I need" then there's no where for the Holy Spirit to go. And if I have a "well, I've done this then you should do this God", then all I see Him as is a Coke-Machine-god. And I'm totally missing what God wants with a relationship with me.

At the end of last year, I felt a stirring on some passages that God gave me a while ago (Psalm 37:5-9, Isaiah 58:6-10). After pondering them and discussing them over email with a friend, I realized that I wanted to leave all my insecurities in 2010. The anger, the wrath, the fret, the yoke of oppression, the finger pointing, and malicious talk! Just love God for God and let Him love me for me. "Free me to give and receive love as never before."

I was comforted with “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise." (Isaiah 43:18-21).

I choose to trust because of who I know God to be (righteous and blameless) and because I know He has already chosen to love me. And my actions are based on a response to His love. But when they aren't, the good news of grace is that nothing is irredeemable. It takes repentance, then surrender. And I can't express how peaceful surrender is, when I know that it is to a perfect God who loves me more than I'll ever know.

And the marathon of surrender will continue to teach me for the rest of my life; and ending with a wonderful finish line... Heaven!

All for now,
Lisa

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. -- Proverbs 3:5-6

A Year in Review, a Year to Behold, and a Signing Off

On January 29 of this year, I wrote a blog entry in which I recorded a bucket list. While I don't "live by it", I did find it fun to write. It also gave me cause to write a thankful list, which again, gave me an opportunity to realize how thankful I am to God for giving me so many different opportunities in this life on earth.

With that in mind, I figured now would be a good time to reflect over the past year and write down a year in review.

Things done this year from the 2009 Bucket List
Visit Spain (and a priviledge that it was a mission trip)
Fly in a glider (soaring)
See an American eagle in its natural habitat
Climb up the Grand Canyon
Learn how to tie different knots
Shoot a machine gun
Go deer hunting
Go rappelling - Aussie style!
Play a wii

And some things I didn't expect
Climbed the 3rd largest cathedral (in Sevilla, Spain) (I've already climbed #1 and #2)
Took the Jeep 4 wheeling (again)
Rode the MS150 in Texas
Rode the MS150 in California
Went to my sister's 30th High School reunion
Went dove hunting
Went paintballing
Completed an artwork for the church's Easter art installation
"Badged" with the Houston Lifestock Show and Rodeo
Learned how to weld
Learned how to play the djembe and congas
Became "director" of a 1 year olds class for the children's ministry at my church
Took a photo with David Crowder (another CCM artist)
Saw a meteor shower

And looking forward to 2010, here's some things I'd love to do:

Here's my hopes for 2010 from my 2009 bucket list
Learn to fly fish
* Vacation in Costa Rica (maybe even surf!)
Swim with dolphins/whales/manta rays
Catch a firefly and put it in a jar
Learn to sail (by myself)
Learn to start a fire (without matches)
* Go back to Ireland, and be sure to kiss the Blarney stone this time
Visit Peru (and climb Machu Picchu)
** Get married
Go deep sea fishing
Learn how to make beer, wine, or even moonshine!
Peg a speedometer of something fast!!
See a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans
Ride on the Ferris Wheel at the Texas State Fair

And some new things
Visit Alaska
Ride a zip line (again)
Learn how to build a log cabin
Participate in a drum circle
Learn to play the trap set (drums)
Teach mosaics at Laity Lodge (again)
Kayak on Corpus Christi bay
Do an artwork for the church's Easter art installation (again)
Buy some recreational/retirement land
Go rappelling - Aussie style! (this time, not get talked out of it half way down!)

* These may have more of a missions focus now, but this remains to be seen... or unfolded!
** Hope springs eternal!

You know, life is definitely more than "doing things" but, we have a short time here and I want to enjoy ALL that He has created for us. And I want to make sure to enjoy it with the perspective that I am an alien here - meaning, with a God-honoring perspective and in a way that makes me think not about earth but about our eternal home.

This is probably more than all for now... this is probably all.

Signing off,
Lisa

I Have Decided

That 2009 will complete my time in the blogging world. It has been an incredibly fun and rewarding and revealing time for me. But as most things in this world, there is a time and a season to it. And I believe this is the end of the time and the season.

Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to read and even a bigger thanks to you who have taken the time to respond.

All for now,
Lisa

What Can Faith Really Do?

Ever ask yourself that? I have. Plenty of times. I heard this song and it spoke to me. I hope it speaks to you also.

What Faith Can Do
by Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think its more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You do have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can!

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
hat's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

All for now,
Lisa

Not a "First Song" But a Good One

I heard this on the radio this morning, yet it wasn't the first song I heard. But I so needed to hear it.

Truth be told, I guess I've been feeling a little more lonely than usual lately... perhaps with all the traveling, all the changes, all the constants. But the song reminds me that there is one thing I too often forget to do.. come to the cross. That's where my heart belongs.

Perhaps you need to be reminded of it also.

Where Your Heart Belongs
by Mainstay

You lost yourself in finding out
The wonders of the world will let you down
You gave yourself to those who never
Cared about your soul, they only cared for their own
Seems everyone has left you

You're not alone, I hear you call
And I've been waiting here for you through it all
You're not alone, come to the cross
Let me show you where your heart belongs
You're not alone

You went down the darkest roads
And you know just how it feels to lose your hope
But don't give up on everything
When everyone has given up on you
And it feels like everyone has left you

You're not alone, I hear you call
I've been waiting here for you through it all
You're not alone, come to the cross
Let me show you where your heart belongs
You're not alone

I will never leave you
Come back to my open arms
To the only love you need

You're not alone, I hear you call
And I've been waiting here for you through it all
You're not alone, come to the cross
Let me show you where your heart belongs
You're not alone, you're not alone, you're not alone

All for now,
Lisa

Another "First Song I Heard This Morning"

I heard this song as the alarm went off this morning. I couldn't help but smile thinking how true it was. I've felt His arms particularly strongly the last few weeks - especially being on a mission trip. But when I felt it strongest I was walking alone on a pretty sidewalk in Madrid, Spain. There was nothing notable about the walk, but I couldn't stop smiling. I simply felt God's presence. Safe in His arms.

In My Arms
by Plumb

Your baby blues
So full of wonder
Your curly cues
Your contageous smile
And as I watch
You start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight

Knowing clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

Story books full of fairy tales
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies

Knowing clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you

Clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

All for now,
Lisa

October Will be a Busy Month

October has started out very well - especially with the David Crowder concert (and meet and greet) and a wedding of two good friends this past weekend!

Shortly I leave for Spain for a mission trip, mainly working with College-aged students. We will also make a trip to Morocco for 4-5 days for a scouting trip for future mission trips.

When I return, I will be volunteering with the Wildlife Rehab and Education center. We will be building flight cages for native wild birds currently being rehabilitated at the WR&E center (such as hawk, owls, and pelicans). I'm really looking forward to this.

I also hope to get to see the "Speaking Louder Than Before" tour with Jeremy Camp, 10th Avenue North, and Bebo Norman. That will be a great way to round out the month. And a nice way to set up for November... which should be full of camping, hiking, biking, kayaking, bday celebrating, and, of course giving thanks, on that 4th Thursday!

So, you may not hear from me too much. But stay tuned - you just never know when I might be an itching to blog.

God is good!

All for now,
Lisa

What in the World Will I Do?

Yesterday, I received yet another very profound article from Hudson Russell Davis entitled, "When the Expected Arrives - Part 1". If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll remember that I first started reading Davis when he released articles entitled, "A Confession of Longing" and "A Longing like Starvation" back in late May 2008.

Yesterday's installment was no different. He has a keen way of getting to some very deep feelings and thoughts - and presenting them so clearly and concisely. Sometimes when I read his articles I feel like I'm reading lines on my own heart.

I particularly liked this quote:

Life is lived just where we are with the hope and expectation of what our hearts desire and we are to live there in peace. It is the greatest test of faith to be laid low by a desire for more and in the midst of it all still know peace. It is a testimony to our faith that we can trust Him in the now while hoping and expecting more in the future. In this we can be content but not satisfied. What we dare not do is lift our voices to accuse God of being unkind.

And then this hit me like a done of bricks:

We live by faith and not by sight. We live with a desire not a realization. We pursue what we have not yet attained and sometimes after the long period of expectation—an occasion of realization—the expected arrives. Then that traveler, so familiar with the roughed landscape through the wilderness of loneliness must exchange what sustained out there for those things that sustain a marriage.

I've pondered often much of what he wrote... about what exactly I will do once my waiting is done. Once the prayer for a husband turns into a reality of the husband. I have prayed often that during this time of wait I don't put my husband on a pedastal or create such a realistic fantasy that the fantasy becomes more enduring than the reality. Will the dream of a husband be better to me and more natural to me than the reality of a husband? After all, I've been in wait over 20 years. Has it become such a natural part of me that I'll miss it once it's gone (meaning, once he arrives?).

What in the world will I do? I can't wait to find out. :-)

After all, I don't want to marry a perfect husband. Just a perfect-for-me husband.

All for now,
Lisa

An Untitled Hymn to Go Along with a Psalm

My friend, Heather, just updated her facebook status with a verse in the Psalms. A song immediately came to mind so I figured I'd post both!

This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.
Psalm 91:2

Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)
by Chris Rice

Weak and wounded sinner,
Lost and left to die,
O, raise your head,
For Love is passing by

Come to Jesus,
Come to Jesus,
Come to Jesus
And live

Now your burden's lifted,
And carried far away,
And precious blood
Has washed away the stain... so

Sing to Jesus ,
Sing to Jesus ,
Sing to Jesus
And live

And like a newborn baby,
Don't be afraid to crawl,
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall... so

Fall on Jesus,
Fall on Jesus,
Fall on Jesus
And live

Sometimes the way is lonely,
And steep and filled with pain,
So if your sky is dark
And pours the rain... then

Cry to Jesus,
Cry to Jesus,
Cry to Jesus
And live

O, and when the love splills over,
And music fills the night,
And when you can't contain
Your joy inside... then

Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus
And live

And with your final heartbeat,
Kiss the world goodbye,
Then go in peace,
And laugh on Glory's side... and

Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus
And live

Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus
and live,

All for now,
Lisa

First Song I Heard This Morning

You know how when you just wake up you're not quite moving? I try to take those moments to listen to see if the Lord is saying something to me. Just in the quiet of the morning. I don't think I had ever heard the song that played after my alarm went off this morning. It was a peaceful song. I had to look up the singer and the lyrics. Here they are... enjoy!

Healer
By Kari Jobe

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You

All for now,
Lisa

Could Not Have Been a Better Devotional for Me!

Today's Streams in the Desert was just absolutely perfect for me! I could not have said it better! He has put me in a place of utter confusion only to make my path straight. Something only God could do... oh how He loves me! And oh how I cling to Him closer than ever.

I will add it here for your convenience!

Making Straight the Crooked

"Consider the work of God: for who can make that straight, which he hath made crooked" (Eccles. 7:13).

Often God seems to place His children in positions of profound difficulty, leading them into a wedge from which there is no escape; contriving a situation which no human judgment would have permitted, had it been previously consulted. The very cloud conducts them thither. You may be thus involved at this very hour.

It does seem perplexing and very serious to the last degree, but it is perfectly right. The issue will more than justify Him who has brought you hither. It is a platform for the display of His almighty grace and power.

He will not only deliver you; but in doing so, He will give you a lesson that you will never forget, and to which, in many a psalm and song, in after days, you will revert. You will never be able to thank God enough for having done just as He has. --Selected

"We may wait till He explains,
Because we know that Jesus reigns."

It puzzles me; but, Lord, Thou understandest,
And wilt one day explain this crooked thing.
Meanwhile, I know that it has worked out Thy best--
Its very crookedness taught me to cling.

Thou hast fenced up my ways, made my paths crooked,
To keep my wand'ring eyes fixed on Thee;
To make me what I was not, humble, patient;
To draw my heart from earthly love to Thee.

So I will thank and praise Thee for this puzzle,
And trust where I cannot understand.
Rejoicing Thou dost hold me worth such testing,
I cling the closer to Thy guiding hand.--F.E.M.I.

All for now,
Lisa

The Top 12 Indicators that the Economy is Bad

I received this in an email. Thought I would post just for grins...

The top 12 indicators that the economy is bad:

12. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
10. I went to buy a toaster oven, and they gave me a bank.
9. Hot wheels and Match box car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.
8. Obama met with small businesses... GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup, and GM to discuss the Stimulus Package.
7. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children's names.
5. The highest paid job is now jury duty.
4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans.
3. Motel 6 won't leave the lights on.
2. The Mafia is laying off judges.

And the Number 1 indicator

1. If the bank returns your check marked as "insufficient funds," you have to call and ask if they meant you or them.

All for now,
Lisa

Taking Good News

Having just finished the Houston Project this year with my church, I am coming down from the high of a great blessing of being the hands and feet of Christ in a very focused way. And I was able to take lots of photos too! I just love the faces of the nations! "Let the nations be glad" as Piper would say.

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4

And I have quite a few friends that are on mission trips right now... all over the country... Kenya, France, and other parts just to name a few. I have been praying for these folks.

With all of this happening, a song keeps coming to my mind (nothing new for me... I pretty much live in song lyrics!). :-) The song is Twila Paris' "How Beautiful". It's based on the scripture:

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
Romans 10:14-15

you can listen here

Have you taken the good news to anyone recently?

all for now,
Lisa

U2's 40

I'm not a big U2 fan, but a friend told me about this song... based on Psalm 40. If you're read much here, you know God has really been speaking to me through this Psalm. So, to hear it put to a modern melody brings a new understanding of it.

You can listen/watch here

lyrics:

I waited patiently for the Lord.
He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me up out of the pit
Out of the miry clay

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long...how long...how long...
How long...to sing this song

He set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm
Many will see
Many will see and fear

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long...how long...how long...

All for now,
Lisa

A Conversation about Hope Deferred

I forwarded a great article on hope deferred to a friend of mine (who is currently single). Her response was good:

you know this was a great article about hope deferred. I really want to persevere during this time in my life and not let the desire for a husband consume me, especially when there is guy on the horizon or when friends start dating or get engaged. I know I have compared my life to others and thought, well how come they get that blessing and I don't? What did you think of it?

Here's my response back to her... pretty much says all I had to say:

To say I haven't done that would be a lie. Yet to say I have done that a million times would be an understatement. :-) But I trust in God's grace and mercy. The important point is to recognize the lie and to agree with God's truth.

A few points I really liked in this article:

• You have asked of God, and now you must trust Him and entrust your desires to Him. Now you must let go of them. Surrender them to God, your Father
• What we find here in Romans is that years of waiting on God should produce more hope, not less.
• One thing I’ve learned to do is praise God in the middle of my dashed hopes.
• "chain of hope” in Romans 5:3-6

In Sunday school, my teacher said, "our roots grow deep in adversity". Call waiting on a husband "adversity" - or whatever you like. But I agree. It is not until you are tested that you can truly see your character. When I was in Gethsemane, there was an ancient oil press there... to press the olives. The guide said something very insightful, "the quality of the oil cannot be known until the olive has been pressed." I think we are a lot the same.

One of the biggest questions you have to ask yourself is does waiting produce more hope or less?

Of course, this all goes back to another question... what do you really think about
God? What is His character? If you have questions about that, then the rest crumbles.

And then the next question... what is He about? Our comfort or His glory? ouch.

So, then, I rest in the fact that He is always at work, always good, always for my best, and apparently me being single right now affords Him the most glory.

And that's where I rest. In trust. And waiting.

All for now,
Lisa

Living in the Waiting Room

I actually started this blog entry on 15 June. Over two weeks later I'm finally able to finish it. Not because of laziness. Quite the contrary. I love blogging and look forward to it. But there was a thought missing. And idea not quite blossomed. Only now can I finish it. Yesterday's Streams in the Desert devotional helped me to finish forming the thoughts. I'm big on letting the revelation come in due time. And I didn't want to rush it. Hmmm... perhaps this alone was an exercise in living out waiting...

I have been studying Psalm 40, which is such a picture of David waiting on the Lord... and receiving strength because he was waiting on the Lord - ALONE - and not waiting on something or someone.

What does it mean to wait on the Lord? I am realizing that waiting and obedience have the same effect. They both are surrendering to the Lord. Waiting is obedience.

If the waiting room is the refuge of the Lord then I run into its shelter. But what does that mean? What are the aspects of waiting? I read these somewhere and have forgotten where I saw them. But I want to talk about each of them:

1. A demonstration of love
Waiting says "I trust you and know you have the best way". It says I love you enough to wait on you. A friend of mine who just got engaged was telling me that while she waited to say the direct words, "I love you" to her fiance, she told him, "I do these things because I love you". It made me mindful of action showing love. After all, Shakespeare once said, "He does not love who does not show love".

2. An acknowledgement of our source of power and life
When I read this point, Moses immediately came to mind. He would not go anywhere without God's presence.

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here."
Exodus 33:15

Too often have I rushed off, half-cocked when I felt the Lord direting my path. However, if He says He's going to do something, He will do it. We don't need to do it for Him. But make sure you're there with Him and that you haven't gone out on your own - trying to do something for Him.

Because we can do nothing without Christ, we ought to believe, expect, wait for, and depend upon His operation in everything that we do through His Spirit dwelling in us.
–Andrew Murray

3. In a position to receive and respond
This is probably the most powerful point of waiting. It is not our job to "do" anything, but just receive and respond. How can we if we are not focusing on Him. Casting our eyes upward during this time of waiting puts you in a perfect position to receive and respond. I found a great prayer in today's devotional which can be prayed to put yourself in a position to receive and respond:

Now, Lord, not my will, but Thine be done. I know not what to do; Iam brought to
extremities; but I will wait until Thou shalt cleave the floods, or drive back
myfoes. I will wait, if Thou keep me many a day, for my heart is fixed upon Thee
alone, O God, and my spirit waiteth for Thee in full conviction that Thou wilt yet
be my joy and my salvation, myrefuge and my strong tower.
--Morning by Morning

I suppose I'm a little tired right now from a season of protracted waiting. Yet a friend said something very insighful:

We all consider "waiting" to be exhausting. But, if we read the verse Isaiah 40:31 and truly BELIEVE it, then "waiting" for us should be a time of gaining new strength. Perhaps we are exhausted in our efforts of waiting on the LORD because we are not really waiting on the LORD. Rather, in our heart of hearts, we are waiting on the thing, person, or our circumstances to change. Our strength will be renewed if we wait on the LORD! That is so exciting to me. Be patient and in the meantime have God-time.

I suppose that goes back to the very first point of what I learned from David.

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 40:1

David waited patiently for the Lord - not what the Lord had in store. ouch.

All for now,
Lisa

P.S. For all the waiting the David did, especially in Psalm 40, I can't help but identify with the ending verse of Psalm 40 - a kind of "I'm waiting, but can you hurry?" :-)

Yet I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay.

Dissecting Psalm 139

Psalm 139 came to my attention, again, in this past Sunday's sermon on End Times. On Sunday, I knew I wanted to look back in my journals, blog, and calendar because the whole chapter has meant so much to me (but I really didn't know when I'd have time). Why I chose today to look at only makes me smile, now that I have taken the time to investigate it. Isn't time with God always like that? Always makes you smile after you've taken the time to spend with Him.

Chronology:

On the below dates, I somehow blogged or noted in my calendar the below events. Some of the below I understand now, but some may be revealed in the future (which is marked by the (?)). But regardless, it amazes me how keenly aware He is of every detail in my life (which is definitely one of the points in Psalm 139).

• June 8, 2008 - HFBC, "God Provides" sermon - Psalm 139:23-24
• June 9, 2008 - found Angels' website, "B: Leading Ladies... B is for beauty", Psalm 139:13-18 (really when it occured to me that Psalm 139 was becoming a theme)
• July 30, 2008 - blogged after being convicted of pride and arrogancy - Psalm 139:23-24
• August 29, 2008 - "test" was one of the words I received - Psalm 139:23
• Feb 17-18, 2009 - blogged the entire chapter after I did the Missions Committee devotional on "the only way it comes is through Jesus Christ"; and very keen on the word "inheritance" (?)
• June 7, 2009 - HFBC, "End Times" sermon - Psalm 139:7-10
• June 8, 2009 - looked back to see, and unknown to me at the time, that it was one year - to the date - that I was first given the idea of Psalm 139!

Viewpoint:

I'm going to attempt to share what the different sections mean to me. But that's like a blind man trying to describe a rainbow. Just too beautiful for explanation; it has to be experienced. I invite you to do the same.

verses 1-6:
seem to focus on who God is - His character. Most of the sentences being with "You". I have been learning a lot in the past year or so about His never-failing character. In fact, I have a whole page in my journal which is devoted to one-word descriptions of our Lord: Faithful. True. Lover. Healer. Judge. Protector. King. Friend. Beginning. End. Provider. Creator. Patient. Powerful. Real. Persistent. Forgiver. Promise. Precious. Majesty. Authority. Sufficient. Complete. Self-existent. Banner. Secure. Beautiful. Comforter. Love. Grace. Mercy.

you get the idea. He's BIG! David got it also. And I think that's always a good place to begin... looking at just how big our God really is. It definitely puts things in proper perspective.

verses 7-12:
describe God and His ability to be in all places at all times. The God who created time is not bound by it. That's why He is forever the same, never changing. And it can be intimidating and reassuring all at the same time. There is no where I can that He is not there. David says, "If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me', even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." I think He truly understood that God was always there.

(Now what's really funny is that I have itunes playing in the background and what came on "coincidentally" while I was writing this section was "Always on My Mind" - Willie Nelson's version. I had to bust out laughing. God's timing is so amazing. We just need eyes that see.)

I remember Rich Mullins sharing about one time when he was in a bit of a rebellion that he asked God to "blink... for a really long time". I can identify with that. There have been times (more times than I'd like to admit) that I've wanted God to just blink. But He cannot and does not... because He has chosen to not. Now that's love of the covenental kind.

verses 13-18:
tell of God's power - and to create beauty! US!!!! Yes, you and me. David was speaking very personally here... and praising God for creating Him just the way He was. What I also love about this section of passage is that David says, "Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." It reinforces the whole idea to me that God has been at "rest" since creation, end of day 6. Everything was created, including time. But He created time and we live in it and must wait as things unfold. Things already created, just waiting to happen. This, again, reinforces to me the idea of trust, rest, wait.

verses 19-24:
David focuses inwardly to conclude this chapter. But this is how it started off with me: examining myself - via the Holy Spirit's prompting.

I think it very telling that David starts off this section with hatred - for those who hate God. But then the last two verses, to me, describe a man who realizes His hate and asks God to search him to see if there is any offensive way in him and lead him in the way everlasting. What this says to me is that I think he may have "gone off" on others, maybe being a big judgmental, and when he realized his judgmental spirit, he caught it and humbled himself. Man, how many times has pride, judgment, and arrogancy clouded my eyes?

(Another song "coincidence" - would you believe Chris Tomlin's "My Chains are Gone - Amazing Grace" just came on?!? Don't you think David must have been overwhelmed with God's grace as he wrote those last two verses?)

The last 6 words are the most grace and mercy filled: "Lead me in the way everlasting". I mean how could we even entertain the idea of a perfect and Holy God being anywhere near us, save grace and mercy? Thank you, Lord, for Your perfect grace and mercy.

Enjoy who you are and who God has made you to be. There is no one else like you. He only makes originals. And as Psalm 139 confirms, God is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. But God gave us the ability to choose. As Andrew Murray points out, as believers, we will do one of two things - either deny self or deny Jesus.

What do you choose today?

All for now,
Lisa

Puncturing Illusions

I actually thought of this blog title way back on 30 April, 2009. Although I don't remember much of what I wanted to blog about then, I have a full idea of what I want to write now.

I think I absorb the most by looking reflectively at things; after they happen. I know I write a lot here about my reflections since last May - which was such a watershed for me. And not to stop there, many a significant event has happened since then, only for me to recognize and acknowledge God's unrelenting work in me.

I looked online for "reflective learning". I was suprised at how many results came up (1,200,000)! The 4th result listed had some interesting information:

Reflection can help you to:

• better understand your strengths and weaknesses
• identify and question your underlying values and beliefs
• acknowledge and challenge possible assumptions on which you base your ideas, feelings and actions
• recognize areas of potential bias or discrimination
• acknowledge your fears, and
• identify possible inadequacies or areas for improvement.

Reflection can lead to greater self-awareness, which in turn is a first step to positive change – it is a necessary stage in identifying areas for improvement and growth in both personal and professional contexts. Taking time to reflect can help you identify approaches that have worked well, and in that way reinforce good practice.

I don't want to turn this into a self-awareness exercise because I this it is more about the Holy Spirit's work in me. Yet, truly, all this has really been puncturing illusions that I had been living with for years. Illusions of who God truly is; who I am (faults, habit, blind spots, and chains and all); who He has created me to be, His design for love and marriage; and most importantly the power of transformation. Praise Him!

I've learned a lot, despite my kicking and screaming - for the crucible that I have been in, for growth that sometimes hurts; for truth that can sometimes be painful and for the protracted trust, rest, and wait that He calls me to... all of which I have, at times, demanded that He relent. Ye loves me too much to give into my demands; especially desires that turn into demands which turn into felt needs.

The most of what I have learned: All of Him is more than enough for all of me. I'm trusting Him for the rest and wait.

All for now,
Lisa