Saw it a Year Ago, Just Getting it Now

wow, I was seeing something needing a healing in my life and I sent this to two Bible study friends in May, 2007:

http://www.stpaulscary.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=372&Itemid=355

please read the whole thing (it's short), but the key part:

But in this other brother, we see a glimpse of the other kind of guilt, and we have to be a little more shrewd to pick up on it. His guilt is a bit more insidious. This is the kind of guilt that lives deeper down, which refuses to be satisfied by God's promises. This is the kind of guilt that lives by the book and judges by the book, but refuses - refuses- to accept the limitless love of God. And we really do have to be a little bit clever to see it because this is the kind of guilt that tempts us to quickly file this story under "p for prodigal" so that we don't spend too much time thinking about his brother's feelings, and how much in common we might have with him.

I saw it over a year ago (and a friend prophesied the same thing for me at that time)... I somehow knew I was some sort of prodigal's brother, but I couldn't put my finger on what exactly was at the root. Now I see it. yet I'm just now getting it... living by the book, judging by the book, but not receiving the whole purpose of the book... the limitless love of God. I think, in my wait (of not receiving), I got caught up in thinking that His promises were not for me (or I just couldn't receive it for myself) - or that I had to work towards it - self-effort - and the self-righteousness associated with it. In the back of my head, I was thinking I could work myself towards deserving something or another (yes, you can read husband there). And I was cleverly sulking in my waiting, filling my time with more self-effort.

You know... now, I'm ready to come back in the house (of love). I'm looking forward to seeing what it looks like. But I think I'll leave the piety, self-righteousness, self-effort, and arrogance (as subtle as they are) outside. I'm really not sure what got me to think and do those things (and that's not really the point), but the party is inside and I want to relax and rejoice!

I emailed those two Bible study friends on June 2, 2008 and said, "I feel a completion coming on; I can't say what, but I know it's coming. Yes, the past two months have been a completion in the healing. Truly, then, I had no idea!

(Seeing now that I'm) Healed, Complete, and Content,
Lisa

P.S. Here is the seventh set of seven words. This may complete the set (at least on this healing):

grace
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14
From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16
Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. Acts 20:32
and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:24

submit
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22
Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Hebrews 12:9
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

discipline
And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, Hebrews 12:5
Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Revelation 3:19

rejoice/relax
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:6
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4
In this you greatly rejoice though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7

easy/light
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:30

healed
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet,"so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.Hebrews 12:12-13

beloved
Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders. Deuteronomy 33:12