Content But Not Satisfied - Part 2

Heeerrrreeee's Hudson (again!).

nuggets:

• I am content in my singleness because I am certain that God has not abandoned me, has not forgotten me, that He loves me. But I am not satisfied because, despite the Love of God and the love of friends, despite the blessings I cannot list, there is an ache and longing that is unfulfilled. I am content but not satisfied.
• So I am content to wait on Christ and will not act in the rashness of my desires--but I am not satisfied.
• What Paul teaches is that one can be content even in the midst of need, even in the midst of longing.
• To be honest it would be easier to accept the fact that God will never bless me with a [mate] than to indefinitely nurture hope.
• We need not delude ourselves, marriage will not end the loneliness but it is a particular desire without which we are not satisfied.

For me, it would be easier to accept the fact that God really didn't give me those promises than to indefintely nuture hope that He did. But persistence has had a positive effect on my faith. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy and the beauty of persistence is that I'm seeing it more and more every day. In my life as well as the lives of others. Praise be to God!

What I would add is that I am at the point where I realize that I won't ever "arrive" at a certain readiness or preparedness for marriage. It's truly when God chooses. I am just thanking Him for where He has brought me so far. To a healing, to an understanding of what a Godly marriage looks like, and to a complete and absolute trust in Him - for what He has done, is doing, and will do.

And I realize the power of expectations (some expectations are good, some are not so good). And the power of unrecognized (unhealthy) expectations! And how unrecognized, unhealthy expectations can really serve to limit the power of God.

The perspective I have on marriage is that, at the core, I want to seek to see God in my mate (and be devoted to that) and see him looking for Him in me. Not that I think he will be perfect or even perfect for me - I just want to look across to my mate (even if we're smack dab in the middle of an argument and I, for the moment, despise him) and know know know that there is no one else in this world that I'd rather be struggling through all the junk we put on ourselves than with him!! I want him to know the same for me too. Is that what it means to be willing to lay down my life for him? Is that covenental love?

Yet I don't want to diminish the other parts of marriage that I think are vital (saw these somewhere, just not sure where...):

• driving passion
• beautiful romance
• supportive friendship
• intimate connection
• outrageous fun
• personal growth
• enhanced esteem
• peace of mind

All for now,
Lisa