Why Are You Still Single?

Good question. And I'm not sure I can answer that question. But with a simple comma the question changes to one I can answer quite well.

Why are you still, single?

Because that is what the Lord has asked of me. Yesterday's Streams devotional said it quite well, "the person who knows how to wait has grown to an exceptional degree in God's grace." I can look back at quite literally 20 years (since 1988) of journaling. And the overriding journal entry is praying for a mate. There are many things I've done in the last 20 years to try to make that happen. Many things that empirically there is nothing wrong with (maintaining my health, trying to improve my beauty, going places to make myself available, trying online dating, and even giving speed dating a chance). Like I said, absolutely nothing wrong with those. Unless God is trying to teach you stillness and waiting. Two things I've really yet to be good at. :-) But there is a lot at stake here: and it really wasn't what I had originally thought. You see, my truly seeing God through His grace was the central focus.

My heart has been the issue. Just in the last few months, He's raised the intensity level to RED! I can see the last few years were definitely learning years for me. But the last few months have been the crucible of testing. And there have been days where I failed horribly. Doubt, fear, sorrow, weariness, and worry have all crept in in a very sneaky and subltle way (isn't that so Satan?). But in God's grace, He has met me every time - without exception - and each time I see a greater vision of who He is. I can honestly say I know Him. And I know Him better and better each day. I have resolved, right and and right now, to NOT give up hope. But (continue) to give up trying. Cease striving, wait, hope, surrender, preparedness, sabbath, stillness, readiness can all exist together. BUT ONLY IN CHRIST. Christ IS our hope! Christ in us, the hope of glory. So, which prize are my eyes on? The prize of a husband or the prize of God through Christ Jesus? I would not be honest if I did not say both somehow. But let this be known: I will NOT take a husband without Christ being fully evident! And I will be still until I see Him move. And I can ONLY be still due to God's grace. Otherwise, I'd be scurrying around like a little ant trying to get things done. I know. I've been there and done that. It wasn't that great. Now I will trying something new. A new beginning. With clean hands and a pure heart. I will be still and know that He is God! The last few months have been about cleaning my hands and purifying my heart. For that I am sure. He has touched my heart and I know it. He has shown me my secret sins and I have been ashamed. But in His grace and mercy, He has restored me. Through Christ alone. I am righteous and blameless. I can see it. I have been an adultress - taking a lover in myself, the world, and sin. yet God has been faithful to Himself and His love for me. I spat in His face and He still said, "I love you". I felt forgotten and He said, "Child, I have not forgotten you". I sinned and He said, "I rebuke your sin yet I still love you". I confessed and He said, "Come to me". I said, "I want NOW" and He said, "wait". I said, "You promised". And He said, "the revelation awaits an appointed time.... wait for it".

So, "why are you still, single"? Because the Bible tells me so. It's as simple as a children's song. After all, I am a child of God. Only through God's grace. I know His grace. I know Him.

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.
Hebrews 4:9-11

Lord, in your grace and mercy, let me continue to be still in Your presence. Calm my restless heart. I know it can only rest in You. Forgive me and show me the wonder of You. For in only You will I be satisfied. You are faithful and true. And, Lord, when I take my eyes off You, and start to strive or worry or fret, please lift up my face. I won't turn away. You are more than enough.

All for now,
Lisa