Nothing But Completely Happy

In today's "Streams in the Desert" there was a line that really struck me:

If I truly believe the past is totally forgiven (1), the present is supplied with power (2), and the future is bright with hope (3), how could I be anything but completely happy?

This is my add - and you can stand on these truths:

(1) "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:12

"All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name."
Acts 10:43

(2) "When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present"
1 Corinthians 5:4

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Philippians 4:13

(3) "There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. "
Proverbs 23:18

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
Jeremiah 29:11

Lord, I truly believe - with all my heart! And that makes me not only happy but also joyous!

All for now,
Lisa

Feeling a Little Like David

I woke up with a song on my heart this morning.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from Thy presence, O Lord
and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation,
and renew a right spirit within me.

Keith Green wrote it. He was a rocking Christian singer! Unfortunately, he was killed in a plane crash in 1982. However, King David actually penned the words originally. According to my Bible, David wrote it when the prophet Nathan came to him after he had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

Here's the whole Psalm:

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem. Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar.

I guess I can identify with David (not that I'm a king or have committed adultery). But I needed that today.

All for now,
Lisa

Try This Yourself

There are some verses in Isaiah (62:1-5) where Zion receives a new name. For a little exercise, as we are new creations ("Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17), try it with your name!

By the way, Hephzibah was the wife of King Hezekiah, and the mother of King Manasseh. It means "my delight is in her", and it's a symbolic name of Zion, as representing the Lord's favor toward her. Beulah means "married", which symbolically means favored and blessed of the Lord.

Zion's New Name
1 For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet,
till her righteousness shines out like the dawn,
her salvation like a blazing torch.

2 The nations will see your righteousness,
and all kings your glory;
you will be called by a new name
that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.

3 You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand,
a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

4 No longer will they call you Deserted,
or name your land Desolate.
But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah
for the LORD will take delight in you,
and your land will be married.

5 As a young man marries a maiden,
so will your sons marry you;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.

So, here's the exercise with MY name!

Lisa's New Name
1 For Lisa's sake I will not keep silent,
for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet,
till her righteousness shines out like the dawn,
her salvation like a blazing torch.

2 The nations will see Lisa's righteousness,
and all kings Lisa's glory;
Lisa will be called by a new name
that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.

3 Lisa will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand,
a royal diadem in the hand of Lisa's God.

4 No longer will they call Lisa Deserted,
or name Lisa's land Desolate.
But Lisa will be called Hephzibah, and Lisa's land Beulah
for the LORD will take delight in Lisa,
and Lisa's land will be married.

5 As a young man marries a maiden,
so will Lisa's sons marry Lisa;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will Lisa's God rejoice over Lisa.

All for now,
Lisa

More Paul Harvey

Isn't that usually the case... there's always a "rest of the story"... an "and then God"? Well, here's one more...

Yesterday was a rough day, compounded by Tuesday night, when I looked back at my journals and just felt a little forgotten. And it made me question if I heard from God... if I've ever heard from God. And, then, for a split second... is there really a God? wow... can you believe.

You know, satan tried to steal my dance yesterday (it was a rough fight), but by day's end God prevailed. That song, "He will carry me" by Mark Shultz was on at lunch (I was in the car by myself). It put words to everything I was feeling (which is why I posted it yesterday). It also helped put my feelings back into perspective. God is bigger than those feelings, as large and heavy as they may have felt.

I agreed with a friend this morning that this season is requiring surrender and trust, but then again I'm wondering what season doesn't require that? What I am learning new is that surrendering includes my rights and demands (think I saw that on MUFFH today), but I have come to a new understanding about leaning on Him completely... COMPLETELY (or at least more completely -- I don't think we are ever completely dependent on him until we're complete in Him - the other side of heaven).

I felt it differently, for the first time, late last night. I want to stay there. It's very safe - yet VERY vulnerable. Not something I've been good at - vulnerability. Yet it's an intimacy with the LORD that I had yet to experience.

A Word Spoken in Song

This song spoke to me at lunch:

He Will Carry Me
Mark Schultz

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

chorus:
And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

chorus

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

chorus

All for now,
Lisa

Ditto

Exactly 5 months ago this song spoke to me... it speaks WONDERS to me today!

all for now,
Lisa

Seven Words for Me

I have been pursuing God in a new way lately... and He has been embracing me in such an incredible way - or it has been more apparent to me lately. He has shown me how he has been at work in my life, specifically, for the past 3+ years. So, I'm standing firmly on his promise.

If there are seven words for me lately they would be hope, faith, trust, confidence, promise, wait, and free. And the cool part is that God has given me, through a variety of ways, His scripture to go along with those words:

hope

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead.
Romans 4:18-19

faith

By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise.
Hebrews 11:11

trust

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
Psalm 28:7

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

confidence

But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.
Jeremiah 17:7

promise

Ask the LORD your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights.
Isaiah 7:11

wait

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.
Psalm 130:5

I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 40:1

free

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Galatians 5:13

all for now,
Lisa

Father's Day is Sunday, June 15!

What Is A Dad?

A Dad is a person who is loving and kind,
And often he knows what you have on your mind.
He's someone who listens, suggests, and defends
A dad can be one of your very best friends!

He's proud of your triumphs, but when things go wrong,
A dad can be patient and helpful and strong.

In all that you do, a dad's love plays a part
There's always a place for him deep in your heart.
And each year that passes, you're even more glad,
More grateful and proud just to call him your dad!
Thank you, Dad ...
for listening and caring, for giving and sharing,
but, especially, for just being you!

Author Unknown

All for now,
Lisa

My Heart, Your Home

Today's MUFHH was just too good! In it, the verse from John 14:23 was referenced (Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.) I just couldn't get this song out of my head while reading it!

Come and make my heart Your home.
Come and be everything I am and all I know.
Search me through and through
'Till my heart becomes a home for You.

A home for You, Lord.
A home for You, Lord.
Let everything I do open up,
A door for You to come through,
And that my heart would be a place
Where You want to be.

Come and make my heart Your home.
Come and be everything I am and all I know.
Search me through and through
'Till my heart becomes a home for You.

You are my portion, filling up everything.
You are the fortune that's causing my heart to sing.
That it's amazing, that You could make
Yourself at home with me.

Come and make my heart,Come and make it Your home.
Come and be everything I am and all I know.
Search me through and through
'Till my heart becomes a home for You.

-- Watermark, 2000

All for now,
Lisa

Something Powerful

I received the below email from a friend. I have no words to describe the flurry of emotions I'm feeling right now. Only tears. Tears of sadness. Tears of joy. Tears twice their weight in gold.

This is an account of the memorial service for Steven Curtis Chapman's little girl, Maria. It was sent to me by my friend, Jim Schmidt. His friends, Rick and Kari Dempsey attended the service and shared this with him.

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your prayers for the Chapman family. They certainly have felt the love of God over the past few days from all those who have lifted them up in prayer during this unimaginably difficult time.

Kari and I are flying back to LA as I write after an amazing two days in Nashville . This was life changing. The name of the Lord was exalted in ways that we could never retell. We are in awe at His grace, compassion and mercy. Little Maria's life, although short, has already moved mightily in peoples lives to bring Him glory.

Last night the entire family stood in the church as a long line of friends and acquaintances greeted them, hugged them, cried with them and loved on them. The Chapman family and Steven's ministry has obviously impacted so many. They stood there for more than 4 hours before one of the pastors finally stopped it and had hundreds still remaining in line just sit down and then Steven apologetically, but so graciously addressed the entire group.

At the funeral, both Michael W. Smith and Matt Redman helped lead everyone in worship. Matt led us in a song we often sing that he wrote, "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord." It was amazing to watch the Chapman family sing with loud voices as they hugged one another, "He gives and takes away. He gives and takes away. My heart will choose to say, 'Lord, blessed be your name.'" This song will never be the same to me personally.

We worshipped and sang for 30-minutes. And then the Chapman's celebrated Maria by sharing stories and talking about her for almost an hour and a half, praising God for her life and acknowledging that she was safe in the arms of Jesus. All the while pictures o f Maria flashed on two big screens behind the stage - her little white casket at the foot of the stage. She was buried in the "flower girl" dress she was going to wear in Emily's upcoming wedding.

Jeff Moore sang Steven's song "With Hope" which Steven wrote for a family years ago, going through the same type of tragedy. All of Maria's little friends came forward and placed a flower at the foot of the casket while Jeff sang.

The Chapmans are unwaivering in their love for Christ and doing well. Their entire family was a display of faith in practice at the most difficult time of their lives. No one in the family wore shoes, because the veil had been lifted for Maria. They were on "Holy Ground" and God's presence was felt. Caleb (19) said in his prayer, "while we've always been excited about Heaven, it seems so much more real now...and gets us that much more excited to be there ourselves someday. So we'll live life on Earth as if each day counts until we get there ." He also said that although they are "confused" they've never been so sure about Christ and His saving grace. Caleb likened this to one of those abstract pictures that when you're up close, you can't see what it is, but as you step back, you start to see what the artist wants you to see. He said, "And this is a big picture, so we may have to stand waaayyy back."... but we will see what the Artist has designed and what the picture is. He has his dad's wisdom - well beyond his years.

Emily Chapman (22) just got engaged and said that after the proposal, Maria was the only one who asked, "What did you say?". Maria asked it multiple times. (Of course Emily said "yes" to her future husband). But Emily addressed the 3000+ crowd and turned Maria's question back to everyone listening in regards to their answer to Christ's proposal to each of us,. "What did you say?" Powerful under these circumstances. The good news of the Gospel was presented four times throughout the ceremony by the family.

Steven was a rock and just gave all the glory to God. The model of a humble, Godly man. I'm so proud to call him a friend. His humility and appreciation for everyone there, which was a testament to his character and his sincere faith and love for his God and His son, Jesus Christ. As he hugged and cried with Kari and I, he just kept reminding us that "Heaven is real." Steven shared that after the accident, in the hospital, he held Maria's lifeless body and cried out to God. He cried out, asking to somehow see some kind of sign that she was going to be okay...to see that she was going to be safe. When they got home that night, they found the last picture Maria drew on that Wednesday afternoon on her little art table (she loved to draw!). It was a flower and a butterfly and folded in half like a card.

When Steven opened the card up, she had written one word on the inside - a word he didn't even know she knew how to spell. It was "See." A simple answer to his cry to 'see' that she was safe. Please keep praying for them. They are worn out, sad and yet rejoicing in the Lord. Please pray for Will Franklin Chapman. He seems to be the one that is having the hardest time and struggling with the guilt of the accident. It truly was an accident. Will pulled the car into the driveway and because the family was throwing a party that night for Caleb's graduation, he decided to back the car up onto the grass just as Maria ran out behind the car to welcome him home. There was no way for him to know that Maria was behind that car. The Lord was ready to take Maria home. He knew the number of her days. We stood with Maria's favorite pink blanket draped over his shoulders both days.

All in all God was glorified. Praise Him for His sovereign ways.
Rick (and Kari)

All for now,
Lisa

Read This Somewhere Recently

And thought it was good enought to share...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

All for now,
Lisa

A Confession of Longing Like Starvation

I recently referenced these two articles, written by Hudson Russell Davis, who I consider an incredibly brave man.

http://www.crosswalk.com/singles/11576008/
http://www.crosswalk.com/11573521/

I thought I'd give you a reader's digest version of these two articles, well, because they're just that good. Here are some memorable lines from both:

A confession of longing does not indicate a lack of faith. It is simply honesty.

Many of us who are single encounter this accusation in speaking with those who have forgotten their time of trial—if they knew a time of trial. It is as though to suffer in silence is more noble, to live with pretence more spiritual, and to smile through the pain more righteous. I smile through the pain. I give and love and serve—but I am also honest.

A confession of longing does not indicate a lack of faith but it may. If we
[paraphrased] let sin fester or don't consider that reality is neither singular
nor local.

I have come as though through briars, torn, bruised, bleeding, and tired. I have a longing inside of me that colors much of what I see, feel, and think. I long to be married with a longing that consumes. I am not desperate, but the longing hurts like starvation should. Relationships have never been easy for me, but I cannot conceive why they have been so hard and why the wait must be so long.

That time has passed and it has grown increasingly difficult to wake up with renewed hope. In fact, it has been difficult to keep my sense of humor and fight the cynicism. This is part of the reality in which I live but not the whole. If these were the only thoughts in my head I would be nothing but hopeless—and I am not without hope. I had no clue it would be so long or so hard but time is not my enemy and waiting is not punishment.

So when this loneliness feels like death, aches like starvation, I confess that I am alive and well fed. No matter the fears that plague me time is not my enemy and waiting is not punishment.

Time is a thief only if I think of what I do not have. Waiting has caused me to dwell on the absence, to focus on the longing, twisting my energies toward solving this one great mystery. The voices in my head may be convincing, but they are the ghosts of insecurities, false expectations, and wrong thinking. These voices that tell me God has forsaken me, that the waiting is in vain, are not of God. The voices that speak discouragement and paralyze my efforts to serve God have come from below. Time has stolen nothing. Each day is a gift. I may mourn the wife and family I do not have, but time is not my enemy and waiting is not punishment.

Time does not lessen truth, but it does weaken confidence and cloud reason. Over time what we know to be true becomes clouded by the continued presence of failure. At least that is the way it feels. At times no one can convince me to view this protracted sorrow as anything other than failure—personal failure. The truth is, where we see no reward—we see failure. My expectations have led me here, and over time they have challenged me. Since things are not going my way, I want time to stop or the waiting to end.

It is hard to say to what degree the desire for a relationship and the setback of failed relationships have affected my self-concept. At times there exists a cavernous space between the way I feel and what is real. Sometimes the line is so blurred I can hardly perceive the difference. This is the penalty of time. That very fertile heart in which hope once grew so wild has, over time, suffered drought. I am sometimes scared to hope, to believe that the longing will ever be fulfilled. But, while God has not promised me a wife, He is a good God, a merciful Lord who loves me. It is He in whom I hope and to Him I bring my tears.

Time is not our enemy and waiting is not punishment. In fact, the more time that passes the more I become certain that I cannot give up. How could I give up when I have waited so long. Who knows, perhaps the green pastures, in which He means to lay me down, is just over the next hill. I have not come this far and waited this long only to stop short or give up.

At times, the reality of disappointment weighs on me, whispers defeat but I have not lost hope. I live a life that is not focused on finding a wife, but on serving my God. And yet I hope someday to feed the hunger, to ease the pain. If I stop here, if I listen to the voices—then time will judge me and I will have my punishment.

All for now,
Lisa

More to the Story

So, a friend from an art class taken long-ago read some of my recents posts and was compelled to email me. I was happy to hear from her... it was a sincere connection. In her email, she wrote that her sister committed suicide many years ago and wondered if perhaps Brenda did also. She also commented on my desire to marry. "There are many groups out there and I hope you can fulfill your life without feeling you have to be married. I know that loneliness is rough, but there are alternatives. It sounds like you make an effort to do things and get involved. That's great - that's the best way to go about it - [btw - good luck on your bike trip]. We are in 2 women's book groups and also an all female RV group - they offer great support and we're always laughing. :-)"

She also commented about holding on or letting go of a dream, "The sermon topic at our church yesterday was "Holding the Dream" - then she added to it, by talking about Letting the Dream go - kind of fits your Blog about marriage. Sometimes our dreams aren't really what's best for us and letting them go is an option. There is a difference between letting go and surrendering, I think"

So, I replied to her and I figured I should post it here.. for the "rest of the story" (Paul Harvey, indeed). If I'm gonna be brave enough to share some pretty intimate things, I better not do it half-way.

Hey (name withheld),

Thanks so much for the email. That is very kind of you to write. Yes, Brenda did commit suicide. It's an awful tragedy, isn't it? Such a permanent solution to temporary problems. True, Brenda's problems were major, but nothing that couldn't be overcome.

Yes, I do have a desire to marry. A longing to be in an intimate life-long love relationship with a man - with Christ as the center. And I do believe God gave me a promise for marriage: way back in March of 2005 – when I was driving to Bakersfield from LA with a co-worker and I saw two rainbows!! I asked the Lord to give me a sign about whether or not I would marry. And He displayed a beautiful rainbow as if to say YES and then I didn't believe myself so I asked Him to do it again and He did a HUGE DOUBLE RAINBOW!!! I even asked my co-worker if she saw what I did and she did!!!

So, in a way, I'm betwixt and between... meaning, it's a slippery slope to believe Him for a promise (which is much more than a dream). Holding onto it tightly, yet holding onto it loosely enough (surrendering it) to trust Him to make all the moves. I believe, but I continually ask the Lord to help my disbelief.

The Lord has shown Himself faithful to me over and over again (and the trials after Brenda's death were many and great). Scripture says what He has for me no eye can see, no ear can hear, no mind can conceive of the goodness that He has in store. But it's a journey of faith, and my devotional this morning said, "great faith must first endure great trials". Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed [Romans 4:18-25]. So, I hang on to the promise, but I cling to the promise giver. So you see, all in all, Christ in me is the hope of glory! I just want to be obedient.

Much love,
Lisa

All for now,
Lisa