Encouragement to surrender... ouch!

I encourage you to let the holy Spirit search your heart for what God could have
set in your heart and you haven't surrendered to it.

I read the above as the last note on a friend's blog. It hit me like a ton of bricks. As I know there is a stirring in me and has been for a while... like I'm on a cusp of a calling. But I don't really know what it is... mainly because I haven't taken the time, opportunity, or openness to let it develop.

ouch.

It hurts more because I've done such an excellent job of ignoring it... putting it on the "big ig" as a friend of mine often says.

Well, the big ig only serves to let confusion fester. And I'm afraid I've layered busyness, head knowledge, and other shiny objects that I've let distract me on top of denial and what I've got is a heap-a-mess.

Know the feeling? I'm sure you do. So, what to do?

I'm blogging this as somewhat of a confession. The word I think I've gotten lately is "service". And I'm serving in my Sunday School class right now, but I think it has more to do with service to the church in general... not sure what.

So, I ask the Holy Spirit to come right now and search my heart and intercede for me with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26); to show me what God has set in my heart, to give me the power to surrender, and to surrender to it.

All for now,
Lisa