Signing Back On: Can't Stop a Good Thing!
At a friend's encouragement of my blogging, I had reason to revisit my blog a few days ago. And when I did, I re-read my 2010 wishlist - to which I had to smile at how God guided me through the year.
Now, let me reiterate that I try not to be just about doing things. But reviewing the list reminded me of how God provides. And it made me realize that my hopes shouldn't be like a Christmas list to give to a Santa-god. But more of a "is this what you would have for me?" petition to God. I'm now seeing it as a way to submit a prayerful request and to see if it aligns with God's will. Putting it up to a light, so to speak.
A friend recently posted on facebook, "when God made the world he intended on today happening. powerful to live, love and walk in that truth..." Exactly!
So I present to you 2010 in review:
January
Played in a drum circle
Learned how to play a trap set (drums)
Shot my first buck and doe!
Taught a mosaic workshop again at Laity Lodge
February
Traded in my 1996 Toyota 4Runner (with 225,000 miles) for a 2007 Toyota Tundra Pickup
Badged again with the Houston Life Stock Show and Rodeo
March
Co-led as mission trip to Costa Rica
Went turkey hunting for the first time
Went to HFBC Hunt Retreat (a long time desire)
April
Started a new position at Chevron Pipe Line Company
Created another art installation for the Church Easter exhibit
June
Met Rich Stearns (author of "Hole in the Gospel")
July
Taught a mosaic workshop again at Laity Lodge
Went to my first (and probably last) Roller Derby
Picked pears at a friend's farm
August
Purchased 21 acres near Fayetteville, TX (recreational/retirement land)
Bought the obligatory 4 wheeler and side by side for the property
October
Attended a "How to Build a Log Cabin" workshop
Bought a TRACTOR! ;-)
November
Suprised my dad by installing a 1940's Fairbury Windmill on the property
So, you can see that some things from my previous "wish" list happened, some didn't. And I'm perfectly fine with that. I embrace it, in fact.
Because what was further instilled in me during 2010, that I hope to carry with me for a long time, is that God has a plan that is perfectly suited for me. My part is to trust. But to discern the will of God takes more than a bucket list. It takes calling on the Holy Spirit for a renewed mind. I just can't do it with my simple human mind. And when I do that I need to be ready. For when I call on the Holy Spirit, He will only fill what I have emptied. Meaning, He won't fill an already filled space. If my mind is cluttered with an "I want", "I was hurt", "I need" then there's no where for the Holy Spirit to go. And if I have a "well, I've done this then you should do this God", then all I see Him as is a Coke-Machine-god. And I'm totally missing what God wants with a relationship with me.
At the end of last year, I felt a stirring on some passages that God gave me a while ago (Psalm 37:5-9, Isaiah 58:6-10). After pondering them and discussing them over email with a friend, I realized that I wanted to leave all my insecurities in 2010. The anger, the wrath, the fret, the yoke of oppression, the finger pointing, and malicious talk! Just love God for God and let Him love me for me. "Free me to give and receive love as never before."
I was comforted with “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise." (Isaiah 43:18-21).
I choose to trust because of who I know God to be (righteous and blameless) and because I know He has already chosen to love me. And my actions are based on a response to His love. But when they aren't, the good news of grace is that nothing is irredeemable. It takes repentance, then surrender. And I can't express how peaceful surrender is, when I know that it is to a perfect God who loves me more than I'll ever know.
And the marathon of surrender will continue to teach me for the rest of my life; and ending with a wonderful finish line... Heaven!
All for now,
Lisa
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. -- Proverbs 3:5-6
