Yesterday, I received yet another very profound article from Hudson Russell Davis entitled, "When the Expected Arrives - Part 1". If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll remember that I first started reading Davis when he released articles entitled, "A Confession of Longing" and "A Longing like Starvation" back in late May 2008.
Yesterday's installment was no different. He has a keen way of getting to some very deep feelings and thoughts - and presenting them so clearly and concisely. Sometimes when I read his articles I feel like I'm reading lines on my own heart.
I particularly liked this quote:
Life is lived just where we are with the hope and expectation of what our hearts desire and we are to live there in peace. It is the greatest test of faith to be laid low by a desire for more and in the midst of it all still know peace. It is a testimony to our faith that we can trust Him in the now while hoping and expecting more in the future. In this we can be content but not satisfied. What we dare not do is lift our voices to accuse God of being unkind.And then this hit me like a done of bricks:
We live by faith and not by sight. We live with a desire not a realization. We pursue what we have not yet attained and sometimes after the long period of expectation—an occasion of realization—the expected arrives. Then that traveler, so familiar with the roughed landscape through the wilderness of loneliness must exchange what sustained out there for those things that sustain a marriage.
I've pondered often much of what he wrote... about what exactly I will do once my waiting is done. Once the prayer for a husband turns into a reality of the husband. I have prayed often that during this time of wait I don't put my husband on a pedastal or create such a realistic fantasy that the fantasy becomes more enduring than the reality. Will the dream of a husband be better to me and more natural to me than the reality of a husband? After all, I've been in wait over 20 years. Has it become such a natural part of me that I'll miss it once it's gone (meaning, once he arrives?).
What in the world will I do? I can't wait to find out. :-)
After all, I don't want to marry a perfect husband. Just a perfect-for-me husband.
All for now,
Lisa
